It isn't everybody's idea of a good night out, but it is not unknown. And it is not a crime.

In one of those conversations women sometimes have -usually after too much sparkling wine - a particular women talked about the pleasure of threesomes.

She loved sex and she loved being the centre of attention, she said. Two men were entirely focused on giving her a good time - and themselves, of course.

Everybody was happy with the experience, which ended with cups of tea.

It has been a long time since sex was something only men were permitted to do freely while women were meant to wait for that "special'' someone.

Women are out there, enjoying sexual experiences in the same way as men, although very few would want to take on a football team at once.

As no one has ever insisted that men wearing speedos or crotch-revealing stubbies were floosies asking to be assaulted, we now give women the same right to dress as they please.

Moral issues aside, most of the community appears to be okay with that, except for those dark age diehards still yelling that "she asked for it''.

While change in the way we view sex has been positive on the whole, the downside has been the assumption that all men were intelligent enough to deal with it - that they would be able to negotiate a sex event without harm to anybody.

Clare from Christchurch was undoubtedly exercising her right to have sex with whomever she pleased. Perhaps there were extra brownie points for shagging Sharks from Cronulla.

Perhaps, while she was serving him his dinner, the young waitress dreamed of a romantic liaison with a handsome footballer. Maybe there was an implicit contract for a threesome. But as the situation escalated to the point where she became public property, she could have been so out of her depth that she just nodded dumbly in an effort to please.

Even if she did consent to everything, she did not expect to be treated like nothing. No one does. Therein lies the injury and the insult.