It seems that the norm these days when a new relationship comes to an end is for it just to disappear without a trace, leaving many questions and no answers.

Sometimes, that is OK. For example, if you have only just met someone and don't see it progressing further. Ignoring a text message or not returning a call can be a simple way of letting a new suitor know that you're not interested.

But at what point in the dating game should we expect a little more? When there have been several dates, I don't think the silent treatment cuts it. If there has been intimacy, a phone call to say: "Hey, I don't think this is working out'' should be the absolute minimum.

I remember dumping my boyfriend by phone at the age of 15 and feeling like a bitch that I hadn't done it in person and we hadn't even had sex! Nowadays, it seems perfectly fine to rumble between the sheets with someone then toss them out with the off milk. Not cool.

If it has been a serious relationship, I believe it is non-negotiable: the break-up simply must be face-to-face. It may be easier to send a quick text or email, but boys, grow some balls and face the emotional consequences. As much as it hurts, the woman will appreciate that you respected her enough to tell it to her face.

But what happens when one partner thinks the relationship is more serious than the other does? How do you know when a friendship has moved from "seeing someone'' to being a relationship?

Facebook has exacerbated this conundrum. The social networking site asks you to identify your status, as "single'' or "in a relationship''. If you are seeing someone, when do you make that switch?

It is not always obvious once you have moved into girlfriend or boyfriend territory. A close friend's new man actually texted her asking if she wanted to be his girlfriend. Cute, but I would feel like I was in primary school.

On the other hand, it sucks when you don't know where you stand. You think the two of you are becoming a couple. He sees you and thinks: "Fun girl, good times''.

So let's be more upfront about how we feel about a partner. That way, if it ends, we will know whether the relationship deserved a break-up via post-it note or a Shakespearean soliloquy.

JD