Maybe he was on to something. In my experience, guys only want to have sex with the sexy girls (ie: "freaks'' in rap-speak) and date the sweet girls ("ladies'').

I have whinged about this to my best friend because, without wanting to sound conceited, in general guys find me sexy.

Oh, huge problem, JD, I hear you mutter. Well, let me explain.

I was out a few months ago with a group of friends and a guy came up to me and said: "You're one of the sexiest girls in this bar'' as he proceeded to grab my behind!

I scowled at him because not only was he invading my personal space, he had just given me what I consider to be the biggest insult I could get.

My bestie who was there too laughed in my face, saying I should be flattered. Ah, no: I explained to her my lady/freak theory. She frowned at me and said: "Surely they want both?''

The debate began.

Unwilling to believe me, we did a field study right there at Cronulla's Bar 2230.

I instructed my friend to find that same guy in the crowd and ask him if he would prefer the "sexy'' or "sweet'' girl as a proper girlfriend.

She came back with her tail between her legs. I wasn't even trying to be sexy that night.

I was wearing demure clothing, wasn't dancing or standing suggestively with one hand up a wall and a hip jutting out.

I was just looking at the cocktail menu - sweetly, I thought.

I asked another male friend and he suggested that my red hair "indicates a fiery woman''.

Oh, for crying out loud. Now I have to get mousy, boring hair to attract a decent guy?

Another friend said that from his point of view, he made up his mind very quickly whether a girl was someone he would sleep with or date and they are very different.

He said it was all about how we portrayed ourselves, with our hair (hmm), clothes, amount of skin showing, and behaviour.

Seriously, guys. If you stopped sizing us up on our hair colour and the size of our bras, came over for a second and had a decent chat, you would learn some of us "sexy'' girls are really sweet too.

Sexy or sweet - which is better?

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