I agree with Sarah in that there was little visible bias toward either side in the writing of this article, so I commend Alicia on that. I know I wouldn't have been able to withhold my bias. I also agree with Incouragable in certain regards. I find it quite offensive that a comment of such a personally subjective nature was presented as though it represented the community or the opinion of every gay person who's single. The problem is the stereotypes. They exist, and to an extent they exist for a reason. Yes the gay scene can be gritty and dangerous. But it's about the way you work within these stereotypes- you don't have to be part of that scene if you don't want to. I was caught up in it myself for a while, and then grew out of it when I met someone special who I wanted to settle down with. I also don't see how it's all that different to the crazy shannanigans of heterosexual people. There's drugs and sex there too. There's people who have more straight sex than meals in a day too. You just don't really notice it- because it is so spread out, normalised and not newsworthy. There are straight people who feel the same types of dissolution and depression about life that gay people do. Wondering if there's ANYONE out there who wants to commit to them, or if they're just unlovable. The straight 'scene' is there too, it's just not as concentrated and is thus not as visible. People see Oxford St and they think- there's the entire gay community, drunk, high and sleeping around. But the sad reality is, there's the part of the community that you can't see that goes unnoticed- like these long term relationships that people have been mentioning. The nice, positive, gay group sessions run by ACON, the Queer friendly sporting associations that are around, the Queer groups at universities... all these things are positive, healthy and happy manifestations of gay culture, and the problem is that people don't know where to look for these, because all anyone ever focuses on or reports about are the negatives of the community. Oh and for the record, I remember someone claiming that many of their gay friends come to them saying they would change things if they could. While sometimes I hate the world, I hate my life and I hate being gay... I would never, ever change it if I could. It makes me part of who I am, and the struggle makes us stronger. But that's just me personally. Everyone is different.

"The years I was gay were the worst of my life ... This is the happiest time of my life.'' So? The years I was closeted were the worst of my life. The year I came out was even worse than the worst of my life, since everywhere I went, people were trying to "convert" my "tendencies" to their will. Ironically, I became miserable because in trying to "convert" me, these people were actually ostracizing me from just about everything. Then I met my partner, and we moved out of that conservative town together. And I got happier, and I'm still happy today. After that, I found God. Consider the possibilities; factors of difference do exist. I know God loves me and doesn't mind me loving people for WHO they are.

I feel sad for those who believe they have to change their sexuality. That is just conditioning from other people. You are in fact, living a lie, which is a sin! Your anger suggests that you have underlying issues with your sexuality, and your lifestyle. I don't believe you are free, it's that simple. I believe you are lying to yourself.You will never reach your full potential, because you are not free. You are people who can not face the consequence of your sin of deception. If you tell someone they are going to hell because they are gay, guess what, you just sinned by even saying it.

I feel sad for you, for all you lose. You will never know true love, never know true connection with another person, and most of all you will never be FREE IN CHRIST!

Jesus loves you gay or straight. You don't need to change.

Dear Disgusted and others. I am the anonymous 40 year old Shire man that some of you think does not exist. Sorry to disappoint – but I do. I asked Alicia to keep my name anonymous for family reasons and thank her for treating me and my story with respect. It does not discredit her article or change my story. To Anthony Venn Brown (whom I have met) and to others I have this to say: if a man or woman wants an alternative to what mainstream psychology has to offer people with same sex attraction, namely just accept it and get over it, then let us chose an alternative. Who are you to tell me I must stay in my homosexual state? Who are you to tell me LW and like ministries harm me when just the opposite has been my experience? Why should I follow what you did just because the path you took didn’t turn out the way you wanted? Who are you to tell me I have no power to change? If men and women can overcome all sort of things in their lives with the help of others, then if they jolly well don’t want to continue in a state of same sex attraction who are you to stop them? If for example I can choose even which supermarket I shop at – who are you to demand I only shop at Woolies? We all have free choice to choose our lifestyle and the consequences of it. Up until as recently as 1974 Psychotherapists were actually encouraged to help any gay person change if they wanted to. That is until vocal and vicious members of the gay lobby terrorised them in to removing that choice. So, in the same what I allow you (Venn Brown and others reading) to live the way you want to live then don’t you try and stop me doing the same. Don’t you dare try and shut down people like Ron & Ruth and the Living Waters ministry. Who do you think you are?! My grandfather fought Nazi tyranny in WW2 and so I don’t want it foisted on to me in modern day Australia no mater what colour it is – gay or Christian. As for Ron and Ruth – God bless them because they are offering me and countless people like me choice! They are offering me the power to choose what outcome I want and they are not telling me it has to be locked in a certain direction either. So anyone who is dealing with same sex attraction and doesn’t want it you ring them up and you get your healing folks ‘cause it’s yours to have if you really want it. I and my two children and my happy marriage are proof!

hi disgusted......I think you need to read some more on the topic. Same sex relationships as well as behaviour is very common in the animal species. this little excerpt from For the Bible Tells Me So might help http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=li AlLNA9cbY there is also an extensive article on it as well. http://www.nhm.uio.no/besokende/s kiftende-utstillinger/again stnature/index-eng.html or just google homosexuality in animals hope that helps.

Just had to check the calendar to ensure we weren't back in the Middle Ages. Nope, it is 2009 ad. PEOPLE ARE BORN GAY Who the hell (parden the pun) are these idiots who are pupporting to "heal" people who enjoy same sex relationships. Scared of catching something are they? Mr Brookman - you are gay and are now in denial. Good luck with that illusion. My homosexual friends will be laughing into their lattes when I send them this ridiculous article.

If being gay is normal, why don't we see other mammals performing same sex sexual intercourse? People tend to hold gays in high regard saying they are lovely people, why? I do believe gays are people who have feelings & emotions etc, but they need help to get out of their damaging lifestyle.

thanks for the report. I think the article reveals some important issues in the debate about homosexuality and ex-gay programs. I attended Australias first ex-gay program back in the early 70's. After 16 years of marriage I finally had to accept the fact that no matter how much I tried to suppress or deny my same sex orientation it never changed. I had to be honest. I was no more heterosexual than the first day I prayed and asked God for a miracle. I've been living as an openly gay man for the last 17 years and I've never been happier, more fufilled and I might add moral. Whilst we have stories occasionally from Ron and the anonymous 40 year old man I can tell you many many stories of the horrific damage people experience in ex-gay programs. These include such things as suicides and like Ben mentioned attempted suicides. Often depression and other mental health issues develop. Ron and other 'ex-gay' leaders dont see these as when people leave their programs they feel like failures and having nothing more to do with them. I have to deal with the damage....and it can takes years to sort out. Former ex-gay leaders have apologised already (some from Living Waters) http://exgayaustralianewzealand.w ordpress.com/former-leaders -speak/ here are 20 important questions to ask anyone who is an ex-gay leader. http://exgayaustralianewzealand.w ordpress.com/5/

I Agree with Sarah I am doing the Living Waters Course and to my understanding it is about relationship issues that is all relationship issues I am there to learn how God can heal us through the Holy Spirit. Ron and Ruth are great pastors at our church. I have had a hard time with a lot of issues recently and I have only found love and acceptance at their church and my home group and I congradulate them for their ministry to reach out to the community it is really needed. That is what Christ did for us when he died on the Cross.

Not sure if one can post more than one comment on here, but here goes. My original comment was third from the top, and due to the flurry of attention this article received since, i would like to submit a further response. Our church is not responsible for gay hate crime, murders, suicides, parents disowning or kicking out their children who "come out", Fred Phelps' style "Christianity" or the like - and nor do we condone same. We are a church, just like any other church. We have a ministry for people to deal with sexual and relational issues, of which same sex attraction is one small area. The people that come to seek that help come out of their own conviction and choice. The members of our church are normal people living normal lives in Sydney alongside the gay community in peace so i do not understand why so many of those who responded here perceive us as such a threat. For those who do not share our world view, all power to ya. Our church is not campaigning against or out to get you. And if you believe so strongly (as I also do) that people have the right to practice their respective convictions and lifestyles, then return the favour and let us practice ours in peace.