THERE is a special place in Alison McDonald's home where she displays mementoes of her first child.
The precious objects are reminders of Dakota Donna Bale, who died in November 2012, at just four weeks.
Dakota was born 13-weeks' premature after her mother was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia and human Parvovirus infection.
She survived three cardiac arrests and was described by all who met her as a fighter till the end.
Miss McDonald and her fiancee, Dakota's father David Bale, will be among those attending the Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day service at Woronora Memorial Park's Karinya Garden at 6.30pm on Thursday, October 15.
Karinya is the serene resting place for children aged zero to 12 and a gathering point for the many families who have children in different parts of the cemetery.
"The service is a really good day for David because he always has a good cry," Miss McDonald said.
"He tried to be the strong pillar for us all. It's a place for him to let it all out."
Not a day goes by when the couple — who now have a healthy 14-month-old daughter, Savannah — don't think about Dakota.
"In the house we have a whole area dedicated to her photos and all her things," she said.
"Her ashes are there, her candles are there in a box with her hair clippings; a whole area just for her.
"I definitely consider myself a mother-of-two."
Woronora Memorial Park chief executive Graham Boyd said the ceremony was a chance for families to unload the burden of "unimaginable grief" in a reflective and healing atmosphere.
"They also gain enormous value from the support structure provided by the support groups in attendance," Mr Boyd said.
Miss McDonald said: "Songs come on that remind me of her. I have a photo of her as my screen saver, so I'm reminded of her every day.
"She was strong from the beginning. That's why we had so much hope.
"For a while, some people didn't know how to react, to talk about her, to help me.
"It's still a process of dealing with the guilt and the grief.
"The grief comes from making the decision to take life support away.
"It was at a point where she was on so much morphine and the machines . . . where if they had to stay like that it would have damaged her permanently."
At the conclusion of the service, attendees will be given a white candle to light at 7pm as part of the International Wave of Light pregnancy and infant loss remembrance movement.
RSVP: by Friday, October 9: 9545 4677 or wmp.admin@smct.nsw.gov.au
