Almost 40 years after Bryan Wiseman was raped as a child, the former Home and Away actor has told his attacker that no prison sentence could make up for the decades of hell he's endured.
Trevor Allan Dale, 60, was sentenced in the NSW District Court on Friday to a minimum of five years and eight months behind bars for raping Mr Wiseman in 1980.
The brutal attack left the then-10-year-old bleeding and in "excruciating" pain.
Dale pleaded guilty to the rape and indecent assault while also admitting two other counts of indecent assault.
Mr Wiseman's hands and voice shook as he read a victim impact statement on Friday.
Speaking through tears, he told the court: "I have been a prisoner to what Trevor Dale has done to me for 40 years and there is no sentence that can make up for the mental hell that I have endured."
Dale abused the victim in the summer of 1979-80 at Mr Wiseman's family home in Sylvania.
He would corner the young boy behind a granny flat as they played together in the family's yard.
After the abuse, the then-20-year-old would say: "You shouldn't have done that to me."
Mr Wiseman said he got into trouble after he was raped because his father thought damage to the granny flat's fibro wall was caused by his soccer ball.
Mr Wiseman told the court that when he was in year 7 he reached out to a child living on Dale's street to warn him about the paedophile.
This act led to an onslaught of "horrendous teasing and bullying" throughout the rest of his time at school.
"I was called names ... this teasing would happen on a daily basis," he said, revealing he'd once burnt his face and hands with Drano crystals so he could stay home from school.
Mr Wiseman revealed he'd spent his life feeling "immensely dirty".
"I still watch and observe people and think about how clean they are, whilst I remain dirty," he said.
The actor has been diagnosed with chronic depression and post-traumatic stress disorder. He suffers daily panic attacks and always carries valium.
"During my really bad times over the years I have even planned my own suicide - and planned how I would kill myself so as not to be found," he said.
"I didn't want anyone at my funeral as I did not feel worthy enough."
Mr Wiseman said the rape affected his mother who found his blood-stained clothes in the laundry.
"My mum always felt guilty after what happened to me and blamed herself," he said.
"In 1988 she had a stroke and thought it was God's way of punishing her for not protecting me."
In 2017, Mr Wiseman finally reported what had happened to NSW Police.
Officers were able to record a conversation between Mr Wiseman and Dale where the latter admitted what he had done - saying it was "all a bit of fun".
Judge Siobhan Herbert said there'd been "zero evidence of remorse".
Dale received a maximum sentence of eight years. He will be eligible for release in December 2023.
- Support is available by phoning the National Sexual Assault, Family & Domestic Violence Counselling Line 1800 737 732; Lifeline 13 11 14; Mensline 1300 789 978; Kids Helpline 1800 551 800; beyondblue 1300 224 636.