The maternal instinct was always there for Kavita Faiella.
She always knew she wanted children. But the traditional definition of a family unit complete with a husband and wedding bells, was replaced with a desire of going at it alone.
Ms Faiella, 38, is a mum to a one-year-old boy. He was conceived through IVF using donor sperm.
Taking her future into her hands instead of waiting for destined fate was an empowering experience, she said.
"It got to the point of wanting to have a child more than I wanted to meet the right person," the Caringbah mother said.
Having lived overseas for a decade during her prime 'child-bearing' years, the career-focused sommelier moved frequently, which made it difficult to settle into a long-term relationship.
"I started looking into the process of a donor across many years. When I eventually saw my fertility specialist, she said 'let's get you a baby'."
It took 12 months to get to the top of the donor list. The donor she chose also shared her Sri Lankan heritage.
"That resonated with me. I thought it would be a lovely cultural story to continue. I also like that he wanted to help someone have a child," Ms Faiella said.
The entire process, from seeing her doctor to falling pregnant, took 18 months.
"There was a pause because of COVID-19. Luckily I was very fertile and had lots of eggs so the first embryo transfer was successful. A scientist called regularly to share how my embryo was developing, which was exciting," Ms Faiella said.
There is no government financial support for people choosing elective IVF. It cost Ms Faiella about $20,000. She also has one more embryo frozen.
Her family and friends were supportive of her decision to become a single mother by choice.
"Most of them knew I wanted to have a baby on my own," she said. "Initially some people would say it's harder to meet someone when you already have a child but most people were thrilled.
"I'm not embarrassed about it. I just feel so proud, lucky and grateful to my donor."
A donor-conceived person is entitled to know who their donors are, should they want this information, once they turn 18 years of age.
"When I went through counselling they said that the sooner you tell your baby about their origins, the better it is for them psychologically," Ms Faiella said.
"It's important from a medical perspective should I need to contact my donor one day, and obviously for my son so he has that option."
Ms Faiella's doctor, Marcela Martin, of IVF Australia (Miranda clinic), said many of her patients wanted to try for a baby as a single mother.
"We've seen an increase in demand as the uncertainty has made people treasure the family unit, with many bringing forward baby making plans," Dr Martin said.
But she said the pandemic affected the availability of donors.
"Unfortunately we have seen a fall in altruistic sperm donors during COVID-19, and at the same time, we have seen an increase in women wanting to conceive using donor sperm," she said.
"We are always seeking local donors, and we encourage young men who are thinking about donating to call our clinics. The generous gift that a sperm donation can give to someone is life-changing and can help others to fulfil their dream of having a family."
