Father's Day Gifts: The Top 10 Worst Ever

You can get the World’s Best Dad title on just about anything these days: mugs, beer glasses, socks, stubby holders, thongs, t shirts, rings, framed certificates, trophies, hip flasks, badges, key rings, footballs, ties, but don’t. Even if dad needs one of the aforementioned items - and some do serve a purpose - there is a plethora of great designs that won’t have dad self consciously covering up the proud boast of the understandably biased “fruit of his loins.”

2. BBQ apron

While there are so many fun ideas out there - each one more wacky than the last - the BBQ apron is still a risky proposition. Seriously, when did you last see a self respecting grown-up man wearing an apron? While the thought of dad donning an apron that gives him the torso of an Adonis may be undeniably tempting, don’t expect your father to indulge this mirthful fantasy for you. Chances are the last time you see this gift is just after dad unwraps it.

3. Ties and novelty clothing

Never try to dress your dad in anything you would be embarrassed to be seen with him wearing. This could include ridiculous ties, golfer socks, cute t shirts or a shirt that would put a clown to shame. Although from a distance - or even up close - your dad may appear to have no detectable style at all, chances are this is a look he has been honing his whole life. Mess with it at your own peril.

4. Socks and jocks

And while we’re talking about it how many socks and underpants does one man need. This goes for hankies too. If your dad’s drawers (as in chest of drawers) are already busting at the seams try to refrain from adding to the glut. Besides dad’s are people too you know and like most individuals have very specific tastes when it comes to their most intimate apparel. Best just not to go there.

5. The Beer Belt

In fact any device that straps cans or bottles of beer to a human being is not a present you should associate yourself with. It’s almost a good idea and your old man may even get swept up in the novelty and use it once, but after that it’s just landfill. Besides should you really be encouraging dad to drink his circumference in beer?

6. Hand written coupons

Unless you’re between two and eight years old nothing says I have no idea what you want and no funds even if I had a clue than hand written coupons. Coupons promising the bearer a 10 minute foot massage or a Sunday brekkie in bed would once have moistened dad's eye and have him trilling about how creative you are, but that was then. Beyond a certain age don’t expect dad to recoup. Pedal bin please!

7. Man bag

It may be practical and your dad is bound not to have one but it is the rare individual comfortable enough in his own masculinity who will risk carrying a handbag...sorry man bag. Most chaps believe if it won’t fit in a wallet there’s no need for it. You can be assured, unless your dad is a man bag kind of guy, this ill-conceived gift will spend its life relegated to the back of the wardrobe.

8. Unnecessary Car accessories

There are a lot of car accessory mistakes to be avoided in the rush to find that perfect gift. Fuzzy Dice, inappropriate car seat covers, car cleaning products that dad will see as something to be added to his to do list should all be discarded as bad ideas. Unless he’s planning on building a novelty car, chances are seat covers with the Aussie flag, Spider-man icon or playboy bunny on the fabric won’t be high on his desire list. Remember dad's are practical guys and the point of the fuzzy dice is ...............that's right, nonexistent.

9. Personal hygiene products 

Soap on a rope, Old Spice, Old Spice scented soap on a rope…..While there is much more on offer these days for blokes in the personal hygiene department not every fella believes in the necessity of such extravagance. Much like underwear, personal hygiene items are just that, a personal thing. You also run the risk of causing offence in this category with hair removal apparatus for any orifice bound to be greeted with a quizzical look - “Nasal hair?.....Where?”

10.  Useless gadgets and desperate gifts

Useless gadgets abound for dads. In hopelessness we succumb to the purchase of yet another useless gadget just so we can have something to wrap up and give him. Clogging up the nations cupboards these gadgets will stay, sometimes never leaving the box they were purchased in. Massage chair mats, foot baths, hot dog makers, remote controlled toys the list of useless gadgetry goes on and on. Similar to the useless gift is the desperate gift. This pressie is epitomised by, but not limited to, anything that goes on a key ring regardless of it’s ability to open a bottle, show direction or light up like a torch. Desperate gifts also include candles in man smells, paper weights and book ends.