After the traumatic birth of her child, Jannali mum Ashleigh Allan started to feel anxious.
Before she could realise what was happening, she fell deep into a hole of depression.
What was supposed to be the highlight of her life, became a mountainous battle that spiralled into fear and uncertainty.
Mrs Allan, 32, struggled with perinatal anxiety and depression, after her daughter Violet was born.
“I wasn’t in the best place emotionally because of her birth,” she said. “Then things escalated. I ended up in a dark place, was severely depressed, and everything felt overwhelming.
“I felt so disconnected from Violet – that was the hardest part, because I didn’t feel I had a bond with her. As a first-time mother, that was the most difficult.
“I felt very scared about what was happening to me – it was such a vulnerable time.”
Anxiety and depression the perinatal period (during pregnancy and in the first year after birth), is often misinterpreted as the “baby blues”.
The illness affects about 100,000 Australians every year.
Up to one in 10 women experiences depression while pregnant, and one in seven women in the year after birth.
About one in 20 men experience depression during their partner’s pregnancy, and up to one in 10 new fathers struggle with depression following the birth of their child.
Mrs Allan turned to the Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) helpline, and started receiving counselling. Her recovery also involved medication and therapy.
“I had no awareness of what was happening to me,” she said. “I knew it existed but never expected it would happen or what it would be like.
“There is shame around it because it’s supposed to be the happiest and best time of your life.
“But I was told it was OK to feel the way I did.
“From that point, I could reach out to get support I needed from other services. I regained a sense of self.”
November 11-17 is PANDA Week. It has launched a new online tool as part of the awareness campaign, designed to help expecting and new parents who battle the challenge, overcome difficulties in mental health.
It offers a checklist that offers questions about changes parents have noticed since starting their parenthood journey – changes in their body, behaviour, thoughts and feelings, and relationships.
Mrs Allan says it helped her overcome a painful experience.
“My relationship with my daughter is amazing – it just took time to go from feeling like I couldn’t be a mother, to this,” she said.
She also helps others at the Recovery College, Kogarah, and has co-written a course about well-being in pregnancy and early parenthood, that is due to run from next year.
“As much as it was a painful experience for me, I’m grateful in a way I went through it because it gave me the chance to help,” she said.
“Don’t suffer in silence. Reach out because help is there. It’s OK to admit if you’re not coping.”
The federal government also announced this month it would provide $300,000 to the Gidget Foundation, to support expectant and new parents experiencing perinatal depression and anxiety.
Funding will help the non-profit parent support organisation to expand its services to help more people across Australia. It provides up to 10 free counselling sessions.